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​She Says She's Got The Nodules
FAUST:
Carlotta... She says she's got the nodules, But not her... She's had a threat from 'him'.  He told her... That if she went on singing, Her future, Could be rather grim...
CARLOTTA:
And you keep your tubby torso out of this, you fat little faggot!
FAUST:
What do you mean, little? I'm sick of all your prejudice...
CARLOTTA:
Then keep your big nose out of this!
FAUST:
You know what you can come and kiss...
CARLOTTA:
It would be difficult to miss!
RICHARD:
Please diva, dear, on bended knee, I've cancelled one show recently, You really must go on for me, Or I'll become a mockery!
CARLOTTA:
You want me on the stage?
RICHARD:
I do...
CARLOTTA:
Although my voice is dodgy?
RICHARD:
True.
CARLOTTA:
All right, I do it, just for you, And you can do the singing, too!
RICHARD:
Me sing it?
THE REST:
That'll be the day!
RICHARD:
Though someone should...
THE REST:
Hip hip, hooray!
RICHARD:
But who, I wonder?
RICHARD:
Miss Daaé!
RICHARD:
No, no, no, no, don't run away!
CHRISTINE:
I'm sorry, Sir, just passing through, I've come to clear my dressing room...
RICHARD:
And what a silly thing to do, How could we think of losing you? Stand over there, keep still...
CHRISTINE:
Yes, Sir.
RICHARD:
Keep very quiet...
CHRISTINE:
I will, yes, Sir.
THE REST:
They're throwing things!
RICHARD:
Shut up!
THE REST:
Yes, Sir.
RICHARD:
Now watch me make it up to her. Oh diva, dear...
CARLOTTA:
Drop dead!
RICHARD:
It's me.
CARLOTTA:
I do not leave this room...
FAUST:
Whoopee!
CARLOTTA:
Ah....!
RICHARD:
I've got a plan which I submit, You mime the scene and gesture it, Miss Daaé does the singing bit, We'll...shove her in the pit!
CHRISTINE:
Oh, really, Mr. Richard -
RICHARD:
What?
CHRISTINE:
I -
RICHARD:
Want your job back?
CHRISTINE:
Like a shot.
RICHARD:
Then shut up while I butter up our diva!
DEBIENNE:
Get the plot?
RICHARD:
Your audience awaits, Their favourite scene of yours... So famous for "The Jewel Song" Which always creates, Tumultuous applause, Because your acting is so strong. She sings your famous aria, They think it's you, et cetera, Your public yells and shouts huzza! The biggest thing in opera!
CARLOTTA:
Well...she sounds like a toad. But... If I sing Juliet in, That new opera by Gounod... And this decrepit cretin, isn't Romeo...
RICHARD:
Do you know... I think I might agree.
CARLOTTA:
It's a deal?
RICHARD:
Cross my heart.
CARLOTTA:
Then tell 'em all from me, That I'm prepared to start!
THE REST:
She is prepared to start, She's quite prepared to start, The star, the star's prepared to start!
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